The single Amber

May 26, 2016 16:44:58 Posted at May 26, 2016 16:44:58
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Taylor Hill/ Getty Images

Amber Heard is asking for spousal support in her divorce claim. She filed for divorce just three days after Johnny Depp’s mother passed away. According to TMZ, she and Johnny’s mother hated each other. And Johnny’s mother thought Amber was using Johnny for fame and a career boost.

Well…it’s not like the rest of us weren’t thinking the same. Let’s look back at the hilariously bad dress Amber wore to the MET Gala earlier this month:

At the time, I called it a backroom throwaway dress. Johnny Depp did not accompany Amber to the event. Which might be why the people at Ralph Lauren were like, um, just grab her whatever we have left over. If you play Photo Assumption on her face, she knows it too. She knows she’s spent a few years with a Sauvage and there’s been no payoff. Partly because she’s a f-cking dullard and partly because, well, Johnny’s not exactly in his prime anymore.

So Amber’s out. She wants some money so that she can maintain a certain lifestyle and if you consider the timing, there’s also strategy all over this. Amber started recently on Justice League, hoping that it’s going to be her superhero breakout so that by the time it comes out, she can claim independent credit for her profile. Already there have been stories leaking out to PEOPLE about how she had cold feet at her engagement party, so we’re supposed to see her youth, and Johnny’s age, and forget that she may have had other motivations through their relationship. And her new motivations?

Well, she’s working on Justice League and…you know who else is? Ben Affleck. Remember that story I posted the other day about Ben and some Uber driver claiming he was in Miami with an unidentified blonde last week? Some people are now wondering if that could have been Amber. It’s pure, pure, pure speculation. But it’s amazing on so many levels because …if it was Amber, and she wasn’t identified, well, point made.

Let’s operate right now on the assumption that there was no Ben and Amber in Miami because none of that is coming from reliable sources. Still… those two on a set. Think about that.

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