What Else?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 16, 2018 21:28:37 January 16, 2018 21:28:37

I won’t lie – am very much looking forward to knowing the name of this baby. I’ve already put in an advance request with Duana for her to write the post, considering she wrote the posts for North and for Saint. Which are good names. Right? I can think of worse names. As a joke, Duana threw “Truth” out there. And because I’m delirious and foggy from this cold, I was hysterical over it for a full hour. “Truth” wouldn’t be impossible though, would it? In other Dlisted news, because I couldn’t decide between these two stories – look at this sex robot. If it was inspired by a celebrity, which celebrity do you think it would have been inspired by? First face that came to mind: Robert Pattinson. Probably the robot has better hands. (Dlisted) 

It’s January so I guess some people have been trying to avoid pizza until right about now, when all resolutions fall apart. If you love pizza though – like ALL PEOPLE BECAUSE WHO DOESN’T LOVE PIZZA? – what would it take to get you off pizza? Would an equivalent calorie count do it for you? F-ck no. Still, maybe I have no right to be talking about and defending pizza. Because I’m one of those assholes who eats pizza with a fork and knife. By now you’ve probably stopped reading. But on the off-chance you haven’t stopped reading, here’s why: I believe in the perfect bite and, with my food, I’m constantly trying to engineer the perfect bite. You can build it, like architecture. For example: when I’m eating BBQ pork or Cantonese style braised brisket with daikon, the perfect bite is when you shovel a mouthful of rice in your mouth with the pork and/or the brisket and daikon. Your chopsticks do that for you aganist the rim of the bowl. When it comes to pizza, you can create the perfect bite with your knife and fork by cutting off one section, and then piling all the toppings onto the dough so that you don’t miss out on the black olives and the green peppers and the bit of tomato and the pepperoni in one bite. Am I still cancelled? (Pajiba) 

I really like it when Jennifer Lopez does hair like this, kinda Charlie Angels styles. And it’s never something I can manage with my hair because I don’t have layers and I don’t want to cut layers. But I’m an idiot, I just realised, I can always have layers clipped in. Which is now my mission. To find layers to clip in to create these side wings.  (Just Jared) 

There’s going to be a Lifetime movie about Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. What do you think they’ll call it? An American Princess? I’m not above watching a lifetime movie. I am not above trash. But here’s my problem with these kinds of movies – not the story, because you’re there for the trash, that’s a given, and you want it as trashy as possible. I just get crazy sometimes with the production value. Like in the same scene, from one angle, it’ll be daylight and the next it’ll be dark. Or a boom mic will be hanging in the background. (Cele|bitchy)

The other day, for another post I can’t remember right now, I couldn’t remember the word “toggles”, like on a coat. And I started panicking because you worry about your brain, don’t you? It should have been a basic recall. Anyway, I’ve only just remembered, while looking at Eddie Redmayne’s coat, which is such an Eddie Redmayne coat to wear and I love it… but probably nobody is looking at Eddie’s coat because of Maisie Williams’s pants. These are not great pants. And I blame the material entirely. It’s the material. Had they been, like, velvet or something, I think I could defend them. But since I am genetically programmed to hate satin, there really is no defending. (Go Fug Yourself) 

I’ve not yet started season 2 of The Crown but this is making me want to get on that, perhaps right now since I’m about to pack up my snot rags and go back to bed, even though it’ll still be a while before we get to see Helena Bonham Carter playing Princess Margaret but it just reminds me of how great Vanessa Kirby is in the role. There’s a scene from season 1, I can’t remember the episode but it’s when Elizabeth comes back from that long ass tour, and Margaret behaved “inappropriately” while taking over some duties in her place, and Elizabeth summons her to tell her off about it and that moment, to me, is what the show is about and why we’re so into sibling gossip on this blog: “Elizabeth is my pride and Margaret is my joy”. As Margaret vengefully points out, there was no “and”, it was a “but”. Elizabeth is my pride BUT Margaret is my joy. Her entire life revolved around that conjunction. (PopSugar) 
 


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