Entourage, like its HBO predecessor Sex and the City, is being turned into a movie. Great, so are the boys going to Abu Dhabi too?

Entourage gave us douchebags before douchebags took over reality tv. The show was supposed to be super insider-y, but even someone with a passing interest in pop culture would understand most of the references. It never really committed to being about show business, honestly, because to do that you have to feature nasty, backstabbing characters and unfair plot resolutions. Apparently the original pitch was much darker, but the network had already run the awesome The Larry Sanders Show and wasn’t looking for dysfunctional narcissists – they wanted fun, aspirational dudes that the audience could totes picture hanging out with. Maybe even at the Chateau Marmont!

Instead of cynicism then you got an agent with a heart of gold (that’s the new hooker with the heart of gold), a vapid movie star with no discernable personality (actually, that’s fitting), a desperate wannabe always saved by a role when he’s destitute, and a hanger-on who never grows to resent his keeper. Entourage didn’t have big stakes because Vince said he didn’t care about fame or money… or anything. So why should we care about Vince? It’s more fun to watch someone claw their way up the ladder than be happy with the rung they are on. Mark Wahlberg had a huge hand in the show -- it is based on his “real life,” which ensured Vince would never really be unlikable.

So here’s how I imagine Entourage: The Movie:

Vince is happily married to the reporter he met at the end of the final season – they have 4 kids. Eric is now a big player in Hollywood, Johnny Drama is down on his luck after his TV show got cancelled and he lost all his money to a shady financial advisor; he now lives in Vince’s pool house. Ari is running a studio, but after a few bombs is in deep trouble. He has a script… but man oh man it’s a big risk. Who would be crazy enough to take it on? He needs a big movie star who trusts him, a producer with a lot of guts and a talented director just crazy enough to do it (ya it’s Billy Walsh). After wrangling over financing, the movie is made out of country, which will cause some family strife (but everyone will reconcile, because people in Hollywood don’t get divorced). They all win Oscars (include Johnny Drama), Eric takes over as head of the studio while Ari buys the LA Lakers. Throw in some zeitgeist-y LA references (Intelligentsia coffee, SoulCycle) to make the audience feel like they totally get Hollywood and load up with cameos. Oh sh-t I forgot about Turtle.

Attached -- Adrian Grenier in Park City during Sundance this year, where he goes almost every year, to pick up free sh-t, because it’s not like he has anything else to do.