Sarah and I try to anticipate ahead of every major red carpet event how we *might* want to group the looks and after all these years, I don’t know why we even bother because it almost never ends up the way we think. Here’s a good example – it would not have occurred to me that two of my favourites, Ayo Edebiri and Jennie would be in a post with two people whose style does nothing for me, Rita Ora and Penelope Cruz. 

 

Ayo, as we just saw, had a great award season winning all the trophies and the style game, and that custom black leather Louis Vuitton at the Emmys will live in my mind rent-free forever. Which is why her Met Gala look, for me, was so underwhelming. I actually… hate it. 

This was not the strongest Loewe of the night, not even close. The colours are so boring, the fit is awkward, they’re telling me this is guipere lace but most of us would just say crochet and if it has to be crochet, it could have been slinkier… it hurts to say but it does nothing for her and I AM UPSET. 

 

As for Jennie – I mean, it’s not that Jennie doesn’t look great in this custom Alaia, because she does, and we don’t usually see her in this colour so, fine, fine, but if there was one girl I was hoping to see dripping in dramatic florals and doing something that glorious hair, it would be her. This Alaia, to me, is giving music video, and I’m not mad at it, I just feel like there was an opportunity to really go batsh-t and take some risks, she is a popstar after all, and, well, this isn’t risky at all. If anything it’s on the safe side. 

 

What was much more expected is that Penelope Cruz would attend and bore everyone in one of the most forgettable Chanel dresses ever. Again – and again and again – the partnership between Penelope and Chanel, just like Margot Robbie and Chanel, is zero impact. 

 

Did you see Penelope’s recent feature in ELLE Spain? The way she was styled for that editorial was so superior to what she wears on red carpets because of her commitment to Chanel, it’s a reminder of what we’re missing. Here’s an example – and for me to say this, because I very rarely f-ck with body-con, tells you something! 

 

Finally…Rita Ora. I know the whole story here is about the beads and how old they are but the beads are not the focus. “Almost naked” was the focus, which pulls focus from the beads because the intention here was to stunt with her body. So let’s not pretend that the beaded curtain was the main character. There were other people who pulled the nude thing off with much less pretense.