Another day, another Quibi trailer, this time for Anna Kendrick’s Dummy. It’s about Anna hitting the road with her boyfriend’s sex doll, who speaks only to her. The joke is that the doll is a feminist, so it’s a comedy meets blow-up Thelma & Louise. 


Tom Brady isn’t slothing his way through quarantine like many of us; he was spotted working out in an empty Tampa Bay park. Because the space is closed, a parks employee went over to tell him to move along. Press reports picked up that Tom was “cited” but that was a misunderstanding. The mayor meant that Tom was finally “sighted.” And now that parks employee has the most exciting quarantine story in Tampa. 

To give credit where it is due, John Mayer was doing an Instagram Live talk show (Current Mood) long before lockdown. His most recent guest was BJ Novak. I’ve never noticed how much they look alike. Or maybe it’s the big f-ckboi vibes from both.

Margaret Qualley was self-distancing with Cara Delevingne, Ashley Benson, and Kaia Gerber, but I don’t know where she is now. Did you see the pap shots of her and her mom, Andie MacDowell, and her sister Rainey leaving a closed park? It wasn’t the most graceful exit as they had to shimmy out from under a gate and mom was in head-to-toe white. You know they saw the pap there and were like “f-ck.” But they likely had no choice as the park is closed (not just after 5 p.m. – the website says the trails are closed, full stop). But there’s something so old school about these photos and the paps actually “catching” someone doing something other than walking down the street (ahem, Ben-Ana). It’s so 2004. 


Suri Cruise had her 14th birthday in quarantine. She’s a teenager in the city and, unlike many other kids born to famous parents, doesn’t live in LA. This is probably the part of Katie’s life that is the most interesting – why does she live in New York? For someone as famous as she is, it seems like a rejection of LA and the culture… or the people she used to know there. This would be a great interview if she actually answered any questions about her life, beyond platitudes. “I don’t want to drive past the Scientology Celebrity Center on my way to the grocery store.” Can you imagine? 

Stanley Tucci made a negroni for his wife Felicity Blunt (Emily Blunt’s sister) and people are complaining that he used a shaker. Stop ruining this beautiful movie! Stanley and Felicity met at Emily and John Krasinski’s wedding, which was held at George Clooney’s Lake Como estate. Also, I checked and Stanley follows his brother-in-law John but John doesn’t follow Stanley back. Um, what the f-ck JOHN. Who do you think you are?!