This is what you’ve been doing all day too. Don’t lie. I promise I won’t tell HR. Offices around the world are being divided –or united – over the discussion of the day: what is Big Dick Energy and who has it? The LG offices are right there with you. Sarah has correctly decided that Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt have No Dick Energy. I agree with most of Lainey’s choices in today’s open, especially Lisa Bonet because OBVIOUSLY, but there’s one glaring point for debate:
Chris Pine has the most BDE out of all the Chrises. FEEL FREE TO @ ME. Aside from the Chris Wars, Chris Pine also just has a general BDE that is not to be f-cked with. In fact, the whole reason Pine is the Best Chris to me is because of his Big Dick Energy. He’s not the conventionally best-looking Chris (that would be Hemsworth) or the most overtly charismatic Chris (Evans) or the funniest Chris (is this what Pratt is good for?). Chris Pine has an intangible, magnetic energy. He’s got swagger, yes, but he’s also got that quiet confidence essential to BDE. Chris Pine is comfortable with taking a backseat onscreen (Wonder Woman, A Wrinkle In Time) that I’m not sure his peers would be. I keep yelling this but he’s also the most talented while getting the least recognition for his talent. Try to tell me you can pull off playing Captain James T. Kirk WITHOUT Big Dick Energy (Shatner had it once, he has now lost it).
While we’re on the topic, I just re-watched The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement because my brand is strong and NICHOLAS DEVEREAUX IS OOZING WITH BIG DICK ENERGY.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Here is Chris Pine with his fellow BDE-having co-star, Gal Gadot, hailing a cab on the set of Wonder Woman 1984. You need BDE to pull off a fanny pack! OK, I’m done.