Is the situation between Dakota Johnson and Machine Gun Kelly a case of mutual infatuation?

Dakota Johnson and MGK allegedly met at Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s wedding. At the time, everyone thought she was still dating Role Model but then in August it was reported that they broke up “a while ago”. Dakota and Role Model started dealing with each other not long after she and Chris Martin ended their engagement. So either there’s overlap or small gaps as she moves through one musician after another. I’m not mad at it. Sometimes you just have to get some sh-t out of your system, although right now her system still seems to be occupied by MGK… because lately it seems like they’ve been inseparable.

Last week they were seen partying together at Chateau Marmont. Then they actually stepped into the daylight, papped as they were leaving a studio after one of his recording sessions. MGK has been recording steadily recently and Dakota’s been photographed several times heading in and out to visit him, and sometimes even wearing his clothes. It’s almost comfortingly cliché, old school celebrity gossip. Also, you’ll recall, she joked about this when she hosted Saturday Night Live earlier this month, that she’s a groupie, test-driving the rock cock for the benefit of the sisterhood, without shame. Dakota, for whatever reason, seems to be dickmatised by MGK – and yet I’m not sure anyone thinks she’ll come out of this a victim. That’s the thing about Dakota Johnson, and I wrote about this recently in my profile of her for The Squawk: she moves through the ecosystem like she either has no f-cks to give or is half asleep most of the time, how could she care enough to come out hurt by her latest infatuation?

That’s what this is giving, this situation between Dakota and MGK: mutual infatuation. I’m sorry to be conjuring it but, like, if we were all assigned to write the fanfic, it would just be non-stop f-cking, our stories would read the same. This too feels like a throwback. We used to gossip a lot more about celebrity lust for lust’s sake. But over the last decade-plus, every famous hookup has to turn into an OTP love story. If there is a downside to the explosion of romance this generation, this would be it – the expectation that all the sex has to go somewhere “meaningful”. Can’t a girl just f-ck her way through the Billboard charts without getting wifed? Dakota has answered the call, and this is why she continues to be good for gossip.