Her Royal Highness at the garden party

Today is the first time that Meghan Markle’s been out on royal duty for a public engagement where she’s officially an HRH, Her Royal Highness. They are now the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. But, seriously, how often are we going to be calling Prince Harry not Prince Harry but the Duke of Sussex? Like, the BBC will, fine, but he’ll be known forever and ever as Prince Harry, you know this. So here’s Prince Harry with Royal Meghan today at Prince Charles’s garden party appearing for the first time since their wedding. As you can see, she seems to be getting on well with her new in-laws. Charles looks rather delighted with her. And this is a solid family photo of the four of them posing with representatives from Charles’s patronages:

This dress though…

They’re saying it’s “rose-coloured” but all my eyes are seeing is off-white. I have a friend who, after her wedding, wore white as often as she could, because she didn’t want to let go of the wedding. Her white-wearing phase lasted an entire year, just to make sure none of us would forget that she’d gotten married. This probably happens a lot, I get it. I get why she’d want to stay in the white shades with her clothes. But …there MUST be a cute white shade dress, non? 

This dress is bullsh-t. 

It fits like sh-t. I hate the sheer, the way it’s wrinkling up her arms, it looks sloppy, and, most importantly, it looks budget. Really, really budget. How do you follow up the gloriousness of that veil with this!? 

Also… remember on engagement day? No stockings? That’s changed now. Stockings now. Which is already a problem for me. But on top of that she hasn’t found the right stocking for her skin yet. These are making her legs look chalky. So that’s one project we have to add to the royal “to do” list – finding her brand, and getting a shipment of them, because this stocking sh-t is for life now. 

Meghan and Harry will likely leave soon on their honeymoon. And that just makes me mad again. Because if they’re going on their honeymoon, we won’t see them for at least a couple of weeks. So this f-cking dress – THAT’s the lasting impression she wants us to leave us with? 

Maybe this is the lasting impression, knowing that the dress was lacking – walking away, as tactile as ever, on their way out towards their honeymoon. It’s as close to porn as we’ll get from the royals.