Reality Recap: Anger, hope, grief

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are back on our screens and Bozoma will be the one to watch. Bronwyn Newport’s husband Todd is redeeming himself after the last two episodes of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. It looks like Shahs of Sunset could be returning. Jax Taylor is still crashing out after a ‘minor’ hit and run this week. And that $75,000 lawsuit that has been the talk of the town for months now has finally been settled.

Mia’s men have a fiery confrontation

In this week’s episode of Real Housewives of Potomac, we learn that Mia’s transition into being with her new man after walking away from her husband hasn’t been as picture perfect as she’s made it seem. Hm, you don’t say.

There’s a scene where Inc (which we learned stands for “incognito” and explains why he’s always wearing those tacky ass stupid ass sunglasses) and Mia’s estranged husband, Gordon, are both at her home. While there, the three face off over the timeline of events after Gordon reminds the pair about his refusal to film with Inc if the children are not involved. 

When Mia insists that all of them being on camera together is ‘needed’ and will be ‘good for the kids’, Gordon slams her and Inc, accusing Mia of getting pregnant with Inc’s baby and having an abortion shortly after he married her. Whew. 

Inc, however, says he had no idea, and that he’s only hearing for the first time as Gordon is saying it. Gordon then goes on to press them over whether adultery was committed – which, if his allegation is true, suggests there was definitely adultery. He says there was adultery on more than one occasion during the course of his marriage to Mia.

In a confessional, Mia says that the situation is hard to navigate as Gordon is ‘in mania’ after his bipolar diagnosis – but myself and tons of people in comment sections online refuse to believe that Gordon’s reaction has anything to do with his diagnosis and everything to do with the fact that this sh-t is getting way out of hand.

Mia has been trying to explain away her affair with Inc, blaming it on what Gordon ‘put her through’ with his diagnosis, saying she wanted to leave year after year but stayed over concerns about what might happen to him if she left. But with her having left anyway, Gordon seems to be doing just fine, despite having to navigate perhaps the trickiest situation anyone might ever find themselves in. Also – that is marriage for you baby, those were vows, not lines on a cue card.

While I have applauded Mia for her vulnerability and for sharing all of this with the audience, because at the end of the day, that’s her job, her using the constant claim of wanting what’s best for the kids to mask her own selfishness is diabolical. You don’t go around making very public claims that her son may not be her husband’s biological son, and may be Inc’s instead, slowly ice your husband out of your home and have your old high school sweetheart take his place and say ‘it’s about the kids’. Bitch, this is about you. And you’re losing respect by not saying that with your chest or at least trying to make your actions sync up with your words. The whole situation is messy as hell and the only thing worse than her lack of self-awareness and consideration is the impact its having on all of the people that never asked to be in this situation. 

Brynn’s unconventional non-marriage proposal

So far this season, there aren’t really any interesting storylines. But as I yawned my way through another episode of Real Housewives of New York, Brynn, the flirty ginger with race dysmorphia, appeared on my screen with an interesting proposal for her ex-fiance, Gideon. 

In this week’s episode, Brynn reflects on her fertility journey, one she is on as a solo 38-year-old woman with no steady romantic partner in the picture. And when her ex-fiance comes to visit, she boldly asks if he’s interested in creating an embryo with her out of the frozen eggs that she has on reserve. And to my shock and surprise, he says yes. Like ‘hand on heart’ yes. 

As odd as the situation may be, Brynn’s explanation of wanting to be a mom, getting older, and the increasingly difficult task of finding not only a good partner but a good father, not only makes a lot of sense but is very validating to women in the same boat.

During a confessional, she admits that her life and current romantic situation has not been as ‘linear’ as she had once hoped and says that’s the reason she’s shifted her focus from finding a good partner for herself to finding a good father for her child(ren) – which is what led her back to Gideon. 

This is the stuff that makes Brynn relatable. I mean, she’s still mostly insufferable, but in this instance, very relatable. Because there are swaths of women out there who have found themselves in this situation. Whether they have eggs on ice or not, there is an increasing cohort of women who are struggling to find romantic partners, let alone suitable fathers for their children. Many are grappling with the idea of going it alone. But for the ones who still kind of want someone in the picture, this is definitely a crash course on what that can look like. 

In their initial discussion, she says she’s happy to do most of the work, despite saying they’ll need to sit, think and talk about the actual logistics. But if they continue on this path of communicating and putting a plan in place, this could be great for the both of them. And the baby too.

Angie K opens up about being angry at her late mother

Having watched this week’s episode of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City one day later than the rest of the world and seeing the snippets from Mary’s contentious Breakfast at Tiffany-themed event, I imagined my highlight from the show would’ve been about Meredith’s bangs, Britani’s “What about me?!” moment, Bronwyn calling Heather all the way out, or Angie slut-shaming Britani. 

But when Angie hosted her dad for dinner and revealed that she resented her mom for dying from alcoholism when she was eight, I knew this was the highlight of the entire episode without even getting to the rest.

Angie tearfully describes finding a necklace that her friends had given her daughter, Elektra, when she was born as a symbol that her grandmother was with her. But Angie says when she held the necklace, she didn’t feel any emotion. She explains that while she doesn’t want to disrespect her mother’s memory, she resents her for losing her life to alcohol.

“I don’t wanna be mad at her. But I’m still kinda mad at her… I needed her. And I don’t understand why you couldn’t look at your kids and realize you gotta get better so you can be present for your family. But I also understand it’s a disease. And I wanna find forgiveness.”

As someone who lost a loved one to substance abuse, I didn’t realize my own feelings about the anger that can exist in that form of death until hearing Angie say it out loud. Her explaining the anger she felt at not having her mom be around for her, her daughter, her siblings and her dad - who went on to raise seven kids on his own - really blew me away. But more importantly, it forced me to turn inward.

“Am I mad at my brother for dying of an opioid overdose?” I asked myself, also teary-eyed at her revelation. “Am I an asshole for even thinking this?” The truth is, I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m certainly sad, because I’ve always believed that deaths linked to substance abuse are…well, avoidable. But my brother, much like Angie’s mom, was likely battling demons that made him feel like he had nowhere else to turn. And maybe that’s the part I’m angry at. The world not being a better place for him. The people in it not being kinder to him, myself included.

My daughter not getting to grow up with an uncle is sad, but not nearly as sad as my daughter not being able to grow up with a grandmother. And that’s what Angie is dealing with. I have so much respect for her for the vulnerability she showed this episode, and a newfound respect for her dad. It also explains so much about how her and Mary became such close friends. They both grew up in dynamics where their mothers were absent in one way or another. They are united in their trauma, but also in their ability to thrive despite it.

It’s moments like these that make the scoffs I’ve grown so accustomed to after revealing to anyone that I’m a reality TV junkie white noise to me. Sure, I love to see a drink thrown, a heated argument and a fiery reunion. But even more than that, I love the moments that make me pause and think about my own life, how I really feel or view a situation and how, despite not having nearly the same level of wealth that some of these women do, in a lot of cases, my riches are just as abundant.