Tom Cruise doesn’t post often on social media, so when he does, people pay attention. And this, as I’m sure you’ve heard, is getting a LOT of attention. Because, well, this video is … it’s bonkers, in the most bonkers Tom Cruise way. Here it is if you’ve not yet had the pleasure. Meet you back below, because we have so much to unpack: 


First of all, the way he’s like, I’m wearing a mask, how did they still recognise me?! They recognised you, sir, because you made eye contact. And not just eye contact but Scientology eye contact. You’ve heard, I’m sure, all the stories about Scientologists and the eye contact thing? If not, google it. Google “Scientology eye contact” or “Scientology staring”. Or you can just head to Tony Ortega’s post on how “Scientology starts off as staring contests”, LOLOLOL. The point is, even behind a mask, you can’t mistake Tom Cruise’s stare and he’s out here all like, OMG I’m so famous people know who I am even when they can’t see my face…

You literally lasered them with your eyes!

Next, it’s August. It might be raining in London but it’s August. And this man is so true to his brand he’s still wearing a turtleneck! 


Speaking of the Tom Cruise brand though, of course he went to the movies in the middle of a pandemic. Because Tom Cruise is all about risk-taking. He’s all about death-defying stunts and doing them himself. Nothing can bring Tom Cruise down. Even if COVID-19 came over and licked him from head to toe, he’d either be immune or he’d fight it off faster than any other human being and alien could fight it off because he has reached the highest level of Scientological enlightenment and has the strongest immune system known to the solar system. Thandie Newton told us, don’t you remember? In her Vulture interview a couple months ago? When she described working with him on Mission: Impossible 2 and shooting a difficult scene? 

“I remember at the beginning of the night, seeing this slight red mark on his nose, and by the end of the night, I kid you not — this is how his metabolism is so fierce — he had a big whitehead where that red dot was. It would take anyone else 48 hours to manifest a zit.


Does COVID have a chance against Tom? Please. 

Logically though, think about it – is Tom Cruise, the daredevil, really the best advocate to send people back into theatres? He’s fearless. Some might say reckless. If this were, say, Howie Mandel, the most famous germaphobe in Hollywood, and he was doing this, I might be more inclined to be all…ohhhh, OK, well if Howie thinks it’s safe, I’m all in. But Tom Cruise? Tom Cruise jumps out of airplanes! How is this applicable to me?! 

Here’s the thing about Tom and the movies – it’s his whole life, literally. Tom Cruise only makes movies, it’s the only thing he does. He lives on a movie set. I’m not sure what he did during lockdown but I can’t imagine it was easy because he wants that film to be rolling non-stop. Of course he’s out here advocating for us to go back to the movies. If there were no movies, there would be no Tom Cruise. So while he’s doing Christopher Nolan, Tenet, and Warner Bros a solid by promoting their movie (which is why he was allowed to film during the movie, something the rest of us would be thrown out of the theatre for), he’s really doing himself the biggest solid. Tom Cruise might need movies more than anyone else.