Leonardo DiCaprio and his current bonafide, Kelly Rohrbach, were papped at the Malibu fair on Sunday. He must not have known because otherwise, he’d be walking around with a trash bag over his head. Oscar the Grouch, but way less cute…now. According to the photographer who was there, Leo and Kelly were holding hands and kissing as they went on rides together. Question: if a French magazine published a bullsh-t story about how Leo didn’t want Kelly to have his baby…would he sue them? Or does he reserve his gossip lawsuits just for Rihanna?

As mentioned earlier, even though no one’s seen the completed film yet because they’re still in post, Leo’s supposed to contend for Best Actor Oscar in The Revenant. As mentioned earlier, I called him Leo Susan Lucci because he’s been nominated so many times without a win, even though he’s a major power player in Hollywood. For some reason though, he just doesn’t get the votes. The last time he was nominated (for The Wolf Of Wall Street) he put up a decent campaign but Matthew McConaughey ended up taking him out. This time, so far, we’re looking at Michael Fassbender and Eddie Redmayne who are surging…and also… Johnny Depp. Johnny’s had a longer career. Some would say that Johnny is due too.

There’s an interesting Would You Rather, especially now since both, in the last decade, have become decidedly less…appealing? Is that the kindest word here? Pick one.