What we missed: Jakey’s bush
Mike Marsland/ Bruce Glikas/ Getty Images
We missed a lot when World War Brange took over the celebrity news cycle last week. This week’s tabloid are about to drop. I suspect we might be getting another round of Brange ugly very soon. Before that happens, let’s catch up on one of the most important but overlooked issues from last week: Jake Gyllenhaal’s bush.
“I want a movie to be a movie! We have enough reality. I want the score to be big, I want the characters to be big, I want people to be more beautiful than they are in real life!”
On that note, Jake Gyllenhaal appears half naked in Nocturnal Animals and he hasn’t shaved his chest even though his chest was shaved, most notably in Southpaw. Turns out Tom did not want Jake to get rid of his chest hair. Tom Ford is over the clean-shaven chest:
“It just never occurred to me that he should shave his chest!” Ford said, aghast. “I happen to like body hair. I think people should leave it alone — I’m not a fan of all this manscaping that goes on. I don’t really get it.”
Ford gestured southward. “If you like the chest, you should see what’s down here,” he said with a grin. “There is no manscaping.” Ford repeated it for emphasis: “There is no manscaping.”
And then, Tom Ford, a natural born tease, ended his Vulture interview like this:
With that image of his untrammelled leading man in mind, the interview was done, though Ford wasn’t. After we finished our discussion, the provocative designer-director walked me to the door and winked. “Nice talking to you,” he said, adding, “I’ll get Jake to show you his bush sometime.”
But also… does no manscaping mean no trimming? I have a friend whose husband does the man version of a Brazilian. Because the bonus is that his dick looks bigger. To me, this is not necessary. Like, we don’t need to bare-match down there. But I am here for a gentle trim. Just, you know, to get the weeds down to a respectable length. Is that acceptable?