What Else?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 24, 2017 20:06:04 August 24, 2017 20:06:04

I never thought this would happen but the world is caring about Tom Cruise’s ass in the same way that they care about other notable asses, Lopez, Kardashian, Minaj, Chyna, or otherwise. What’s next? Will Tom Cruise photocopy his ass to prove that…? I actually can’t remember what photocopies your ass proves. But this is not the point. The point is that I now need this to happen. We need this to happen. We need to DEMAND that Tom Cruise photocopy his ass to let us know the truth about his ass. Preferably during the press tour for his next movie. (Dlisted)

Henry Cavill has written a love letter to his new girlfriend on Instagram. I tried to make Kathleen read it. She got halfway through and texted me back: NOPE. And Kathleen, if it wasn’t already obvious, is a total sap. She cries over cornball sh-t all the time. And if she was unmoved… well… all that means is that she’s just not feeling Henry Cavill. If Cole Sprouse had written this, she’d be charging into my office demanding that 8 posts be dedicated to the event. In conclusion: Henry Cavill still isn’t sparking. (Cele|bitchy) 

This winged jumpsuit on Tyra Banks is amazing. It’s amazing because, as a supermodel, she’s wearing and showing the sh-t out of it. Which is her job. Speaking of supermodels though, please slap your forehead yet again over Heidi Klum’s budget ass dress. Look at that hem. As Karl Lagerfeld might say, this hem was never in Paris. (Go Fug Yourself) 

I was wondering why I was feeling so familiarly melancholy. And this just reminded me. Aaliyah. The anniversary is tomorrow. So I’m assuming that this is why the announcement has been timed this way? I feel uncomfortable about that. Even though it’s been a long time. And her family has most likely endorsed this move. At the same time, I love that Aaliyah’s style is still being held up as a standard. She’s timeless. She’s forever. (Just Jared) 

The VMAs are this weekend. And Taylor Swift is this weekend. And we might finally know the story of the DRAGON and the WOLF this weekend. I actually forgot that the fight is happening. Maria just mentioned that she’s hosting people on fight night so I know, I know I’m probably in the minority of people who don’t have it marked on the calendar. But I will fight you if you try to tell me that this bout between sh-t and diarrhoea (no consensus on who’s the sh-t and who represents the sludge coming out of your ass) is at the top of the list of marquee events this weekend. With or without Justin Bieber. (TMZ) 

On the subject of the dragon and the wolf, will they let us know when Jon Snow will know that he’s actually the dragon and the wolf at the same time? Or do we have to wait until next season? Also, who will be the one to tell him? I hope it’s Third Eye Bran because, as we’ve seen, he’s super sensitive these days about how he communicates sensitive information. (Mashable) 


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