Dakota Johnson celebrated her 30th birthday this weekend. Last year, for her 29th birthday, remember the paps got it wrong when they saw the balloons and thought she was pregnant with Chris Martin’s baby? Chris Martin was at her birthday this year and it looks like he ordered her a cake – not a gender reveal cake but a cake in the shape of her dog. Is that weird? Also she spent a lot of time at the party apparently with Gwyneth Paltrow. Is that weird? For these people, none of it is weird. For some of these people, getting your kids vaccinated is weirder than eating your dog cake and being best friends with your boyfriend’s ex-wife. (Dlisted)

You know, if there was anyone who’d be consulting a psychic to tell them whether or not to take a role, it would be Helena Bonham Carter. And, frankly, I’m in no position to judge. I’ve asked my ma for feng shui advice when considering job and business opportunities. Energy and timing are important to me.  (Cele|bitchy) 

If you love cats…here’s a dress for you worn by Christina Hendricks. Super, super, super cute. Those shoes, however, are not the best. The colour, the fabric, the square toe. I would have swapped out almost anything instead of these shoes. Like, why not sneakers? She’d have looked so good in sneakers with this dress. (Go Fug Yourself) 

We have a tiny bit of a slope on the side of our house and for years, I’ve been telling Jacek that we could turn it into a slide and he keeps shutting me down because 1. He doesn’t understand fun and 2. He says the slope angles towards the fence. Right. But I can steer my own ass! Look at this water slide! Doesn’t it look fun? And you don’t have to leave home! (Pajiba) 

Yesterday in this space I posted about celebrity memoirs and how two recent ones by Demi Moore and Elton John might be elevating the quality of genre. Mariah Carey will be releasing a memoir. Is she really going to give us the gossip we’re looking for though? (Entertainment Weekly)