Absolute WILDNESS at the amfAR Gala

The Cannes Film Festival ends tomorrow, so you know what that means—it’s time for the amfAR Gala, held every year at the end of Cannes.

The sun was shining, the stars were out, and the fashion was… It was… Well… It was Lisa Rinna, going full Effie Trinket:

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I am going to need three (3) business days to recover from this look. When they say “choices were made”, this is what they mean. This look is Lisa Rinna making a series of choices and I would pay real money for her to explain each and every one of them to me, in explicit detail. Please, Lisa, drop the “get ready with me” video. Somewhere, Hudson Williams is seeing this photo and Having Inspirations.

Also making choices but in the opposite temporal direction is Zara Larsson. She decided to dress as if she is attending the VMAs circa 2006. I don’t hate this look, but I also don’t think anybody but a popstar can pull it off. This looks like something Britney Spears wore at her peak in the early 2000s.

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Staying on the popstar beat, Lizzo showed up in bright blue Robert Wun. I don’t mind the diamond nipple ring detail, I’m too busy being weirded out by the double handed gloves. It’s too many hands.

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Rami Malek jump scare!

And then there’s Sofia Carson, who was posing kind of weird until I realized she’s showing off the stonking big ring that is part of the heist-worthy emerald set she’s wearing. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess the jewels are by Chopard, who sponsor the amfAR Gala. Sofia has been sporting a lot of Chopard at Cannes this year.

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Everyone really decided to have an absolute wild one in Cannes, and then there’s Sofia Carson, posing for a robbery. Maybe that’s why Lisa Rinna looks like she beamed in from a dystopic future, she’s gone back in time to steal the emeralds to solve some future problem. You know, I would watch that movie.