We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of Good Hair. Here at LaineyGossip, we appreciate Good Hair. We respect Good Hair. We love Good Hair. But today, we mark its loss in the form of Tom Holland’s haircut.
(I thought I was extra, but someone literally made a montage set to Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel”.)
Earlier this week (yes, it’s taken me this long to get over it), a video of Tom Holland was posted where he sported a buzzcut, and fans went wild. I don’t think I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m a huge fan of Tom Holland. I also have a huge crush on him. Like a tween-age-posters-on-the-wall kind of crush. Seriously, I have a poster of him in my room.
For guys, a good haircut is like wearing makeup. (And yes, guys can and should wear makeup. But the majority do not. It is a shame.) Good hair frames the face, balances out proportions, highlights features, and when done well, it’s f-cking sexy.
The problem here is that Tom Holland is a Soft Boy. I mean this in the most complimentary way possible. It’s one of the reasons I like him so much. It’s part of his brand to be cute, kind of awkward, and release major Marvel spoilers. He’s earnest, kind, genuine, and downright lovable. It’s why everyone and their grandma awwww’d when he said “I love you 3000” back at D23.
Buzzcuts and Soft Boys don’t really go together. Which is why this haircut looks so weird and shocking on him. It’s objectively not a bad haircut. But it’s a bad Tom Holland haircut. So alas, even though hair grows back, we might be stuck with Buzzy Holly for a while since it seems like he got the haircut for his upcoming role in Cherry, the army drama about a former medic who becomes a bank robber in order to pay for his opioid addiction. It’s a dark and gritty drama based on a book by Nico Walker, who lived the experience. The Russos are directing, and they just started filming, as announced on their Instagram:
I wonder. If sporting a buzzcut has already caused so much controversy, are we going to believe that Holland is an addicted, ex-Army criminal? I think he’s a talented actor, so it’s going to be interesting to see how he embodies that role. Perhaps it’ll shed new light on what Tom Holland is capable of, and what he has the potential for.
You know what movie role suits him? His upcoming voice work in Pixar’s Onward. The second trailer just dropped yesterday. While the first trailer in May introduced us to the world, this one finally showcases the central plot. Two brothers discover that their father was a wizard, and that they can bring him back for one day. But they mess up and bring back only his legs. It’s a race against time to fix the spell before time runs out. A bit of a weird premise but so far, the movie looks okay. Chris Pratt plays Holland’s brother, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus plays his mother.
But this is what Tom’s character looks like in the book.
That suits him better than Mr. Buzzcut army guy, no?