We are just weeks away from the season premiere of Real Housewives of New Jersey. The trailers are looking insane. With all the family drama between Teresa and Melissa, it’s going to be a sh-t show. Also, ex-RHONJ castmate Siggy Flicker’s stepson got arrested in connection with the January 6 riots and I’ve been screaming ever since. A Real Housewives of Potomac era has just ended with major cast shakeups that will see Robyn and Candiace departing the franchise. And a Real Housewives of New York City cast shakeup has just introduced fashion designer Rebecca Minkoff to the show, fuelling concerns that the cast is becoming too fashion heavy, if that’s a thing. Here are three standout moments I noticed while watching reality TV this week.
Ciara sticks to her guns on Summer House
As I’ve written in the past, Ciara and West totally have a thing going on this season on Summer House. They’ve been super flirty. They kiss, they cuddle and they sneak into each other’s rooms at night to sleep in the same bed most weekends. But they do not have sex, much to the dismay of West, who is admirably patient.
Ciara’s apprehension to have another house hookup after the disaster that was her showmance with Austin Kroll a few seasons ago makes absolute sense. And personally, I love how in tune with herself, her wants, needs and especially her boundaries are.
During a confessional on last night’s episode, she discussed sex, intimacy and what that means to her and the state of her relationship with West, essentially saying, sorry, not sorry, you’ll get it when I’m ready and not a moment before.
With she and West both making appearances on Watch What Happens Live in the last week discussing their relationship on the show, you get to hear both sides. He is obviously totally enamored with her for obvious reasons (she’s a genius and a smokeshow), and you also totally empathize with her hesitation.
Comparing Ciara’s healing journey to Danielle’s, for instance, can give us all the much-needed reminder that there is no one way to heal after heartbreak. Whereas Danielle’s motto appears to be more in line with “the only way to get over one is to get under another”, Ciara has been a lot more patient with herself, refusing to engage in casual sex because of the trouble it landed her in the first time. She’s established more rigid boundaries and honoured them, no matter how much alcohol is consumed, no matter how much pressure is applied from West, the rest of the cast or even the production team. You have to find what works for you – which can be hard to do on reality TV of all places. We stan our Black Queen Ciara.
Gordon revealing his bipolar diagnosis
In the last episode of the three-part Real Housewives of Potomac reunion, Gordon opened up about being diagnosed with Bipolar I. Most of the audience (it’s me, I’m the audience) was expecting him to reveal that Jeremiah, the son he shares with Mia, wasn’t biologically his, so this news was unexpected, but very welcome.
There need to be more discussions surrounding mental health in the Black community, so the fact that a reality show reunion became the site of one of the most profound discussions about mental health I’ve seen recently is huge. The reason the conversation was so profound was twofold. First, it was Gordon’s explanation of what it means to be bipolar. He really laid it out in a comprehensive way, even distinguishing his diagnosis from other types of bipolar.
“Bipolar, in and of itself, causes your mind to really work opposite,” he explained to Andy and the cast. “Your mind tricks you into thinking you’re normal and that everyone else is slow…what I began to realize was that as early as my twenties, I can recall episodes.”
He went on to say that his manic episodes grew worse and worse over the years without having a diagnosis, and things seem to have finally come to a head within the last two years, which is when he says he got the diagnosis.
The second reason the conversation was so profound, though, is because in a way, it almost exonerates Mia from being perceived as some unfaithful, promiscuous liar, which was the impression a lot of people were left with after hearing about the state of her and Gordon’s relationship and the start, or rather, continuation of her new(ish?) relationship with Inc, which I wrote about here.
Gordon himself expressed gratitude to Mia as she professed after his revelation that she will be his caregiver in some capacity for the rest of his life. I think that humanized her in a way that we simply haven’t seen this season or any other season of the show. Despite the perceived messiness of being married, seeing someone else and divorcing your husband to fully pursue that relationship, seeing what was unfolding in the background reminds us that we don’t always have the full story.
Despite speculation that Mia was the mastermind behind all of this and it had been fabricated to ensure she looked good, most people online agreed that this was a monumental conversation and that his explanation and breakdown of his diagnosis was so spot on. I think it’s another example of how reality TV can be the much-needed buffer to sharing really difficult news, having hard conversations, and distributing information to people where they’ll receive it best.
Lala Kent’s “Who’s Your Daddy” party
On this week’s episode of Vanderpump Rules, Lala Kent gathered her family and friends around to help her choose her baby daddy. She had a representative from Cryobank there with three profiles of men that fit some of the criteria she was hoping for in a donor. The group voted overwhelmingly in favour of the first candidate after learning his favourite song, favourite animal, his interests and hobbies.
Her decision to use a sperm donor and document the process on TV for her second child has inspired many women, but her reasoning, on the other hand, has garnered some pushback. A few weeks ago, Lala expressed to cameras that her reason for wanting a solo parenting journey with her second child was because she didn’t want to have to worry about what might happen if things didn’t work out with the father, things like having to make special arrangements for visitation on Christmas Day.
“I just want something that’s all mine,” she said in a confessional. Social media users took to X quickly and swiftly to express how off-putting her reasoning was, suggesting she was only doing it for a storyline since her ex Randall Emmett doesn’t allow Ocean, the child they share, to appear on camera. But for women like me who know the difficulties and frustrations that can come with coparenting, I don’t blame Lala for feeling the way she does and wanting parenthood without the mess and drama that a separation can bring.
Watching her navigate her sperm donor journey is so fascinating. She’s exercising a lot of agency, and as we saw with the “who’s your daddy party”, a lot of creativity. She’s finding ways to build a family that may not look nuclear but lacks nothing in love. She’s reminding us that not all families look the same, nor do they have to. And with the number of women opting for donor insemination to help facilitate parenthood on the rise, she’s helping so many people conceptualize what it means, what it looks like, and just how much fun it can be.
