I can’t imagine that there’s anyone reading this who has no idea about the origin story but, if you don’t, Tiffany Haddish has been dropping breadcrumbs about it for months now. It started in February when she was interviewed in Vulture and she followed up on that on UNCNSRD with more detail about how it all went down at Jay-Z’s after-party and the Biter put her hand on Jay-Z’s chest and Beyoncé came to mark her territory. But Tiffany saved the motherload for Caity Weaver in GQ in an interview released yesterday, sharing that an actress actually BIT Beyoncé and Tiffany tried to fight her. Here’s how Tiffany’s retelling of the story is described, per Caity: 

“There was this actress there,” continues Haddish, keeping her voice low, “that's just, like, doing the mostest.” One of the most things she did? “She bit Beyoncé in the face.”

Haddish declines to name the actress.

(“I absolutely cannot comment on any of this, as I have no knowledge,” said Beyoncé's representative, Yvette Noel-Schure, when GQ sought confirmation from the singer.)

“So Beyoncé stormed away,” Haddish says, “went up to Jay-Z, and was like, ‘Jay! Come here! This bitch—’ and snatched him. They went to the back of the room. I was like, ‘What just happened?’ And Beyoncé's friend walked up and was like, ‘Can you believe this bitch just bit Beyoncé?’”

“And so then…,” she continues, “a lot of things happened.”

According to Haddish, she and the actress continued to cross paths throughout the night, culminating in a brief standoff. The actress, at one point, told Haddish to stop dancing, which—good luck making that happen.

“And then Beyoncé and Jay-Z walked by me, and I tapped Beyoncé.”

Haddish says she told Beyoncé, “I'm going to beat somebody ass at your party. I just want to let you know that.” Beyoncé asked her not to—told her to “have fun” instead. (Haddish leveraged this moment into a selfie with Beyoncé.)

“Near the end of the party,” says Haddish, describing her final run-in with Mrs. Carter sometime later, “Beyoncé's at the bar, so I said to Beyoncé, ‘Did she really bite you?’ She was like, ‘Yeah.’ I was like, ‘She gonna get her ass beat tonight.’ She was like, ‘Tiffany, no. Don't do that. That bitch is on drugs. She not even drunk. The bitch is on drugs. She not like that all the time. Just chill.’ ”

Beyoncé and Tiffany Haddish have given us the gossip story of the year. So here are the basics of what we know: 

-the time and location of the biting (December 21, 2017, after the Jay-Z show in LA)
-the Biter groped Jay
-the Biter is an “actress” 
-the Biter bit Beyoncé and then told Tiffany to stop dancing 

Beyond the basics though, here’s what we can infer: 

-Beyoncé knows the Biter, has spent time with her before. “She not like that all the time” implies that Beyoncé is familiar with the Biter’s behavour. Which means that…

-It’s likely that whatever interaction Beyoncé had with the Biter didn’t start off with teeth. You can’t just rush up to Beyoncé and put your teeth on her. Because… Julius. Even an entry-level student of Beyoncé knows Julius. Julius is everywhere. I once had dinner at Cecconi’s when Beyoncé was there. Beyoncé was two tables away from Jennifer Aniston and a table away from Gwen Stefani. The point is, this was a celebrity restaurant full of celebrities during Oscar week, not exactly a high security concern. And, still, Julius, her bodyguard, was posted up next to a pillar not 10 feet away from her watching everything. At one point I thought he was going to tackle me because I couldn’t stop staring at her (she’s BEYONCÉ OF COURSE I WAS STARING). When Mariah Carey came up to talk to Beyoncé, Julius was even staring down everyone in Mimi’s entourage. What I’m trying to say is that the Biter didn’t just run up to Beyoncé, bite her, and run off. The Biter would have been allowed access to Beyoncé, by Julius, initially. And at some point in the conversation, after being permitted by Julius to get close to Beyoncé, the Biter turned into a toddler on the playground. This would suggest that Beyoncé gave Julius the signal to authorise the Biter’s approach. 

-The Biter was allowed to stay at the party even after biting Beyoncé. THIS IS AN IMPORTANT CLUE. If it’s a random, Julius would have thrown the Biter out. But the Biter, later on, was still at the party when she told Tiffany to stop dancing. Tiffany kept running into the Biter and wanted to beat her ass. Why was the Biter allowed to stay? Well, because…

-Beyoncé has sympathy for the Biter. “She not like that all the time.” We’ve already established that Beyoncé understands who the Biter is. And clearly assumed that the Biter would be able to refrain from chomping on Beyoncé at least occasionally. Beyoncé not only generously let the Biter stay, she prevented further drama on the Biter by holding Tiffany back. Beyoncé protected the Biter. 

With all that mind who are the possibilities? 

Allie Jones at The Cut put together a list back in February when Tiffany first started telling the story. I’m assuming this list comes from photos of celebrities leaving Jay’s show that night. Photos of celebrities leaving the venue that night include: Rihanna, James Franco, French Montana with Sanaa Lathan, Queen Latifah, G-Eazy, Sara Foster, and Jennifer Meyer. 

Let’s throw out Sara Foster. Who has already denied it on Instagram with the caption “Flattering that anyone thinks I could get this close to Beyoncé”. True. See the points above. Would Beyonce go out of her way to protect Sara Foster? 

Most people are zoning in on Sanaa Lathan. They might still remember that many years ago there were rumours that Sanaa had an affair with Denzel Washington which she then had to deny. Sanaa has also denied that she’s the Biter: 

“If I did” is a really weird way of denying something but sure. I guess it wasn’t Sanaa. And still. Check out Hunter Harris’s tweet below:

Sanaa and French Montana did hang “out for a minute” at some point.   

And there’s this, from 2008:

Again, Sanaa has denied that it’s her. And we don’t have anywhere near a complete guest list for Jay’s after-party. But there may be a club forming. It’s called Beckys and Biters. Who else is a member?