Nicole, Lena, Doechii: Real Ones Are Paying In Blood

Dramatic? Maybe, but I think everyone in this post would appreciate me going all the way over the top – after all, they did. In fact, seeing Nicole Kidman, who attended with her daughter Sunday Rose, got me a little excited for the night. 

Nicole’s gown is delightful counter-programming: to everyone else it’s the first Monday in May, but to her in this Chanel sparkler, it’s time for some witchy Christmas Magic:

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Is it the most incisive gown on the theme? Not necessarily, but it also wasn’t the worst by a long, long shot, and if you are gonna stray from the letter of the law, a dress this good is the way to go. 

And - do you see the twinkle in her eye? Like I’m sure there are times over the last few decades that she’s gone out wearing something she wasn’t fully feeling, but you wouldn’t know it from watching her. She loves herself today and all subsequent days.

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Plus, she was of course with her daughter, also clad in Chanel, albeit pink and fresh and not at all witchy… yet. (Side giggle: Everyone referred to this child, to her face, as Sunday Rose. I know it’s her name, but isn’t it also like being called out by your middle name in public? I feel like Sunday Rose should have a talk with Blue to learn how and when to become mononymic.)

Come on, what are you, made of stone? This is so so cute and great. That said, if I’m Faith Kidman Urban and I have to sit at home and watch this online? I’m going to make sure everyone knows my feelings about it in the morning.

Next up in the blood brigade is Lena Dunham, who would truly appreciate being referred to that way.

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As she explained to Ashley Graham and Cara Delevigne (and I’m quite sure Ryan Murphy is already writing a new season of Feud based solely on the two of them co-hosting this event, I will not be elaborating because there’s absolutely no need), the dress is Valentino by Alessandro Michele. As she was describing her inspiration, a painting called Judith slaying Holofernes, she explained that Michele told her ‘but you’re not Judith… you’re the blood’.

Which is:

A, ultimately quite badass and yes, on theme,
B, a way to ‘interpret’ without being too literal, and
C, (This last one cannot be overstated) a verification of Lena Dunham’s Met museum and general art cred.  She was one of the few people to not only know the art she was talking about but also to be glad she got to. 

I think everyone is enjoying her triumphant press run this time around, nobody more than her.

Finally, another serpentine, sorcery, blood-flowing kind of vibe on Doechii in Marc Jacobs:

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Now, I don’t know what Doechii expected the headline about her outfit to be, but what it turned out to be was mass panic about the fact that she was barefoot:

Yes, even outside.

I wanted this to work a lot better than it did, in theory I love the concept, safety in hygiene bedamned; but she doesn’t seem like she’s fully able to live in it, like she’s constantly worrying about whether this was the angle she was supposed to use or not, and – I understand. Even though we all know this is fabric-taped within an inch of its life, can you imagine the stress of greeting Anna Wintour… in your bare feet, with half your dress in your hand, and trying to make it all work?

I always want people to try stuff at the Met Gala so I am in no way faulting this, but I do think there’s also a ‘know your limit, play within it’ kind of caveat here – it’s just that some people think the limits are ‘nothing you couldn’t wear to a conservative prom’, some want to be naked and barefoot, and the middle in between is wide, but you have to find your own way there…

Still, especially compared to some of what we saw last night, I applaud my blood sisters. I assume they are saluting the moon on their respective ways home.